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> Explanation for actions and absence in 40K tournaments, Appology
fofjunior
post Aug 27 2014, 05:07 PM
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Okay, so I'm not sure that this is the appropriate spot for this but as I pretty much only play 40K figured that this would have to do to reach the people who know me.

Firstly as many will know I have not been active of late on the tournament scene.

There are a number of reasons for this but the main reason is that due to an inordinate and inappropriate time spent on this hobby I have neglected my wife and kids. No excuses I got overly caught up in a hobby that I have been doing to an extent since I was 4 years old and it became somewhat obsessive.

As a result of that obsession my judgement and morals slipped and I have made some bad decisions.

Now I will say this before I go any further - this is not a reflection on anyone else's morals or choices it is MY actions that I am addressing and appologising for and I write it here so that those that know me will understand why.

So in relation to my decision to spend so much time on the hobby it has isolated my beautiful wife and children and they have been hurt by my not spending quality time with them. This is not something I aimed to do of course but it happened and I am sorry for it. No excuses, my job takes up a lot of my time and I should have planned better. This will not happen again.

Now I have also attended a tournament where topless waitresses have been in attendance. This is something that I dont particularly like (yes I know strange for a man) but its not the main reason I am there, I am there to have a few beers and to play some games with people I know. It's something that I can ignore but what I can't ignore and where I made another bad decision is that I KNEW my wife did not agree with this and I actively hid it from her.

This was wrong on my part, has caused more hurt to my wife whom I love and this is the main reason that I have not been to tournaments lately as I am remodelling my life style to spend more time with my wife and children.

I don't have a problem with what others do and understand that however, that particular environment is not for me. I have struggled with my desire to play regardless of where and that desire clouded my morals and I made a decision that was hurtful to my wife and which I am sorry for.

I have also sent some PM'S over the years to some of you who know me that have not posted my wife in the best of light and given you the wrong perception of her. To those of you who have received those PM's I appologise for them. My wife does not have an issue with me playing so long I don't neglect her or my children with my attention. She is genuinely a lovely person and I appologise to anyone who may have gotten the wrong opinion from me.

I will still play in the hobby but to a much reduced extent and hope to involve my 11year old son who is desperate to play more with his dad.

For those who don't know anything about me or this situation, please be tollerant.

For those of you who do know me I hope this clarifies a few things for you and you understand the reason for this open apology.

Gary.


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40K goals for 2017 - play socially more often, complete armies on parade project with son.

Life goals - Lose 15kgs, improve health, spend more quality time with my wife, children and grandchildren. Catch up with friends.
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jimjimjimmyjim
post Aug 27 2014, 06:01 PM
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I'm not certain if you or I have met.

Nor am I certain of how much time you give to your hobby.

I'm a stay at home dad, I have arranged for me to have Tuesday evenings to play at my club and I do my hobby either during my sons mid day nap or from 10 till 12.

I only mention this cos this is what I feel is a healthy balance of my hobby vs family time. Hopefully you can garnish something good from it?

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Jake


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Atomic42
post Aug 27 2014, 06:18 PM
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Courageous and well said mate. Between work, family and hobby and everything life throws at us balance is hard to find but worth the search. Look forward to rolling dice over a beer again.


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rat of vengence
post Aug 27 2014, 06:32 PM
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Well said. Gotta have the priorities right. It sounds like you have got the idea, but as a teacher/parent I can say the example you set of who/what your priorities are will be the priorities your kids grow up thinking are okay/important.

Stick with it smile.gif

RoV


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HAMi the HAMMER
post Aug 27 2014, 06:41 PM
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Don't know you, but appreciate they balls it would take to come out with something like this and admit your faults to those whom know you. I hope that you and your family can move on and enjoy each other. I have been on the opposite end of this situation and can feel for you here. Life is complicated man especially with families and the things we are forced to give up because of family. Best wishes mate to you and your lot.

Also a stay at home dad.
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Rice Array
post Aug 27 2014, 07:41 PM
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Thanks man. I appreciate you keeping me in the loop about these things as they have a real impact.


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straylight
post Aug 27 2014, 07:51 PM
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you sound a bit soft to me.



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fofjunior
post Aug 27 2014, 08:33 PM
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Thanks for the comments guys, especially the positive ones.






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40K goals for 2017 - play socially more often, complete armies on parade project with son.

Life goals - Lose 15kgs, improve health, spend more quality time with my wife, children and grandchildren. Catch up with friends.
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Greatwolf Glen
post Aug 27 2014, 08:44 PM
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Mate well said it takes, real guts to come out and admit the mistakes you made and your efforts to rectify this shows true character and integrity.

It's difficult sometimes to balance work, family life and playtime especially when you have a partner and children. and I'm sure some people who are not in this situation have no objectivity or appreciation of the situation and the balancing act this requires.


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Asuryan
post Aug 27 2014, 11:12 PM
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Gary mate Bravo!!
No need to apologize to us. We all generally have families and understand the balance of family/work/gaming getting it right can be troublesome. My youngest now 17 wants to come along to play and see what his father plays and maybe learn how to play and have a laugh about some very clean fun. We all throw off sometimes about partners but it is not taken seriously and anyone who knows you wouldn't think it was. Having played against you and chatted later you're certainly no wowser but I know what you're saying. And life has away of being very in your face about things too #### always will happen no matter what you do to avoid.

Look after the family and yourself Gary, I look forward to our next game and a catch up.

Cheers
James
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post Aug 27 2014, 11:41 PM
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Good luck. Don't sweat the small stuff too much. Perhaps paint in the same room where everyone else is?



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post Aug 28 2014, 12:37 AM
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post Aug 28 2014, 12:28 PM
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post Aug 28 2014, 02:03 PM
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hey mate, hats off for the courage to write this post. Good luck with it all mate.


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rat of vengence
post Aug 28 2014, 02:17 PM
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Sad to see the usual suspects with the crap snide replies :/

RoV


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I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man...

Twin-linked gives you the ability to miss twice with a single shot weapon.

My Orcstralian Army blog, at the best O&G site; http://z3.invisionfree.com/Orc__Goblin_War...showtopic=23521

My children, also known as Destroyers of Hobby
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fofjunior
post Aug 28 2014, 03:57 PM
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Thanks Diffy.

Rov - doesn't bother me. I appreciate all the positive comments and well if others don't understand my comments or think their soppy then that's their point of view and they can be as negative or demeaning as they like.

Despite 'those' people there are also plenty of decent persons on here, including those whom I know and don't know.

Thanks for the kind words.


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Quote of wisdom - Semper Fidelis

40K goals for 2017 - play socially more often, complete armies on parade project with son.

Life goals - Lose 15kgs, improve health, spend more quality time with my wife, children and grandchildren. Catch up with friends.
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zcar123
post Aug 28 2014, 05:49 PM
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Hello Gary
I donít know you however it takes some courage admitting there is an issue and the fault lies with oneself so I say well done fella and this should be a reminder / wake up call to all of us that family should come first you can then argue what comes next, mates, gaming, mates and gaming, drinks (if thatís your thing), mistress or even work

As James (asuryan) said look after yourself and your family, your gaming friends will still be there when you feel it is the right time to get back into gaming again
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horus
post Aug 28 2014, 07:32 PM
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hey man, well said, you know the saying, happy wife happy life. as for gauntlet and the titty girls i agree it does sort of come off as seedy, now before you all start, yes, i thought it was great at first but now its sort of old hat and Gary you're right, it does not sit well with the wife.


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jimjimjimmyjim
post Aug 28 2014, 10:03 PM
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Honestly I like a bit of beer hammer and a relaxed gaming environment but I don't find it inviting at all to have it an event at a topless venue.

It creates a much more unwelcoming enviornment, certainly people are gonna disagree with me, for women and only encourages a misogynistic attitude in the gaming environment. I actually feel sick that an event would held at such an event, most likely advertised as a special feature.


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ThatWallyGuy
post Aug 29 2014, 08:28 AM
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I want to know which event ran with topless waitresses...


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